Don't believe the hype

Ron howard should have stayed at what he knows best and thats jerkin off russell crowe and pickin up after the fonzs left over ladies , because he certainly made a mess of what is a fantastic story in the da vinci code

I had to get up early today for a car service and decided well im up early ill go see the da vinci code , BOLLOCKS it was long winded ,dull and extremely badly acted they would have been better of getting mr kelly from hey dad to play the lead cos tom hanks looked about as keen to be there as he would be of the prospect of a blow job from jaws , audrey tatou although brilliant in previous movies looked and sounded like they taught her english the day before ...and she didnt understand a word she was saying , not only that but the music is terrible as well where were the big sounds and scores that a blockbuster deserves ?? if i want dull elevator music ill walk around target for 3 hours, ian mckellen was ok though and so was paul betanny but other than that it only derserves about 2.5 out of 5 and thats just because the actual story it self is good.

They couldve made it a classic but they turned it into a soon to be on dvd chunk of crap, god i hope x men is good or else im gonna cry

I read on kate's blog thao wants to get a tattoo , do i smells a body art ode to jean cladue a brewin ...heres hoping..and in response to bryans idea of getting stupid white devil tattoed on him in asian characters , brilliant idea in theory but after the first initiall chuckle you d be over it , imagine explainin that one to one of the buxom ladies at the dorset bryan...bad idea brother

Me , Rick and emmett are bowling gods , and we owe it all to horns !rock n roll will help you bowl baby owwwwwwwwwwwww..and you guys didnt wanna go , wanted to get home in time to watch re runs of the nanny or some shit ..losers ...bowlings the sport of kings

saw the last 3 rounds of the boxing , realised to to start wioth i liked anthony mundine but actually he's a total tool bag...

jazzcats tip of the week is Dont see the da vinci code instead go and hire Thumbsucker , half the price ,twice as good


a photo of britany spears where she doesnt look like a domestic abuse case is the modern day holy grail


can i get a amen

Jazzcat

Mothers day should be re named kick jarrod in the sack day !


Mothers day is fucked!.. dont' get me wrong i'm all up for givin a "holla" to all the mums out there for the great job they do and blah blah baldfhgnkfb...but cant they stay at home and watch the fuckin footy like dads do instead of all meeting up and and planing to come to my restaurant at the same time , i swaer to christ i cooked for every mum in melbourne yesterday so by my counts i've done enough for mothers for ever , you wanna try and get your pram out of a bus , sorry bitch i cooked for 16 hours staright on mothers day ..whats that honey your 9 months pregnant and you want a seat on the train ..sorry bitch i cooked for 16 hours straight on mothers day ...whats that u want me to look after you child while u go get lagered up and try and pick up wasted tradies at daisy's over 35's ....gee i'm sorry but i cooked for 16 fuckin straight hours on mothers day ...

gone ,done ,finished my debt to mothers everywhere ( except my own of course ,ill give her a break seeings though she fed ,clothed and educated me for 18 years of my life )

And to make matters worse , the day before i was in the kitchen getting prepared for the next day of parental onslaught at about midnight ,when i had been there since 10 in the morning without a break when who should i get a text msg from? welll its some of my oldest buddys thinking of me wishing i was there to enjoy the good times, ill just read this msg and let my heart be filled with the love of brotherhood " hey man we're at your house drinking all your beer , it tastes good ,thao and rick said to say your a fuckwit " .... nice .... bitchs have been killed for less than this , so you guys are lucky your my boys as i own lots of sharp knives and am confident i could fillet your entire bodys without you waking up !! thao is exempt from the filleting as he left me a love note under my pillow , ( yes thao i will dance with you in an evening gown to " a little place called coca mo " by the beach boys , nothing would make me happier ) but to all you other fuckers ,no danceing for you, just filleting ...and im a beautiful dancer
( cue Jarrod pullin out the madest hosie of all time to " you cant stop the rock" ) ahhh well im sure ill see you guys this weekend , then i shall be the one drinking your beer and wearing your underwear yahhhhahaha

in other news jazzcats tip of the week is to buy the new snow patrol album , the first half is good but the second half is excellent , especially the song with my favourite songstress martha wainwright in it , buy it now and bask in the ambience , ive been listening to it in my car to and from work and get so lost in it that i almost ran my car off the road the other night ...and thats what you want from music , so good it gives you a near death experience hehehe


Journey Rule !

Jazzcat

Peer group pressure made me do it !


Man it's been a long time since i could be bothered updating this , been crazy busy havent had enough time to do up my own pants, had to wear fuckin shorts anywhere , ( half the preperation time that goes into pants) . Anyway its been such a long time since i ve had a crack at this that i dont even know what to put in , i'm sure theres been all types of quirky anecdotes that have happened over the last few months but fucked if i can recall any of them , my life's is currently a whir of knife chops and a crazy cakling head laughing at my slow decent into madness

I 've recently started a new job down brighton way and am enjoying it heaps ( great english douchebag) but i think im on my way to joining what i have coined as the lonely chef club , i shall explain , all chefs work crazy hours and usually work weekends so scumbags like yourselves can go out and enjoy dinner with your friends and family to escape the daily drag of your grueling 9-5 jobs whyile i stay in and cook for you , this ensures that our social lives are basicly nill seeings as we get off work late and have to start again early the next morning , i've observed over a while that most older chefs basicly have no social lives outside the industry , so cook all day and then hang out with other cooks during there time off , once socail butterflys eventually end up sitting on a porch with that old kitchenhand from uberusefvasfestan sippin on beers with tired knees and tireder backs wondering whatever happened to the legion of buddies they had when they were younger .. But thats not gonna be me baby ..no sireee ..they're not gonna get me, ( cue 80's athem " i want to break free" ) so as some of the lads have pointed out that i look a little glum lately , or even going as far as to call me grumpy jarrod ( this after i give them a ride home at 2 in the morning they get me lost and shout obscene things at woman on the side of the road which causes them to hurl bottles at my car!!!!!) cut a brother some slack . i 'm workin on it ok

in other news thao is the loudest motherfucker on the planet and i'm thinking of giving him the nickname " The new people repelent " as anyone who doesnt know our group is automatically repelled by his loud voice and non sensical rants . Bah but with buddys like him who need s new people , most of them are jerk offs anyway.

not long now till quicky gets back , i'm gonna pummel him with meatpies and beer cans when he gets back from the airport so i can de-program him from his canadian ways , sure do miss that rowdy bugger sometimes ...john denver like a mother fucker boyyyyyyyyy

well its one of my few days off today and i got alot to do , hope all is well withn the world and see you all soon

Rastafie

jazzcat

Peer group pressure made me do it !


Man it's been a long time since i could be bothered updating this , been crazy busy havent had enough time to do up my own pants, had to wear fuckin shorts anywhere , ( half the preperation time that goes into pants) . Anyway its been such a long time since i ve had a crack at this that i dont even know what to put in , i'm sure theres been all types of quirky anecdotes that have happened over the last few months but fucked if i can recall any of them , my life's is currently a whir of knife chops and a crazy cakling head laughing at my slow decent into madness

I 've recently started a new job down brighton way and am enjoying it heaps ( great english douchebag) but i think im on my way to joining what i have coined as the lonely chef club , i shall explain , all chefs work crazy hours and usually work weekends so scumbags like yourselves can go out and enjoy dinner with your friends and family to escape the daily drag of your grueling 9-5 jobs whyile i stay in and cook for you , this ensures that our social lives are basicly nill seeings as we get off work late and have to start again early the next morning , i've observed over a while that most older chefs basicly have no social lives outside the industry , so cook all day and then hang out with other cooks during there time off , once socail butterflys eventually end up sitting on a porch with that old kitchenhand from uberusefvasfestan sippin on beers with tired knees and tireder backs wondering whatever happened to the legion of buddies they had when they were younger .. But thats not gonna be me baby ..no sireee ..they're not gonna get me, ( cue 80's athem " i want to break free" ) so as some of the lads have pointed out that i look a little glum lately , or even going as far as to call me grumpy jarrod ( this after i give them a ride home at 2 in the morning they get me lost and shout obscene things at woman on the side of the road which causes them to hurl bottles at my car!!!!!) cut a brother some slack . i 'm workin on it ok

in other news thao is the loudest motherfucker on the planet and i'm thinking of giving him the nickname " The new people repelent " as anyone who doesnt know our group is automatically repelled by his loud voice and non sensical rants . Bah but with buddys like him who need s new people , most of them are jerk offs anyway.

not long now till quicky gets back , i'm gonna pummel him with meatpies and beer cans when he gets back from the airport so i can de-program him from his canadian ways , sure do miss that rowdy bugger sometimes ...john denver like a mother fucker boyyyyyyyyy

well its one of my few days off today and i got alot to do , hope all is well withn the world and see you all soon

Rastafie

jazzcat