Tit clamp vending machine


Saturday night was another big night in celebration of t-nuggs birthday , i somehow managed to obliterate myself during the course of the night of 80's dancin sheananigans as well as giving thao some bitchin presents including the key to his soul and shared neon vibrator from me and beccy boop , the vendin machine we got it from also had an array of other items such as tit clamps and edible undies for bargain basement prices , all public places she have lusty vending machines! because how many moments have u been in a crowded public area and thought damm id like some underwear that some can eat RIGHT OFF MY BODY! or geez my nipples need a clamping ! cos i know i've been in these sitauations many a time and i just thank the good lord that someone is finally giving the public what they want NAY deserve ! i only wish our good friend quick couldve been there to celebrate it with us , i know he woulda had a rip snorter of a time at our new found home of retro dancing!

The next morning a woke up intwined it the twisted sleeping body of my fmeale companion and seeings though i am to tall to fit in her miniscule single bed ( fuck gary coleman would have trouble sleeping in this thing!) she was sleeping in on my mattress on the ground , a raging hangover mixed with a knee in tbhe spine are very harsh things to wake up to on a sunday morning then i remember that we have to get up and go to church for her cousins first holy communion.. this is a much more harsh reality , and i just hope jesus forgave me for turning up to his house of worship in such a shady state , i havent been to church in a very very long time and it seems to be alot less convincing now ... i really dont imagaine that if there is a god or higher being that he would want to be revered in this way , with all the kneeling and "praise be to his naming's" i think that there has to be a less formal and accusing way to worship ones god , but hey who am i to mess up 2000 years of tradition ey ,

We then had the typical italian function to attend afterwards , these things if you are not aware generally go for about 5 hours and you are fed about 7 courses of food , this was luckily only 4 courses but still almost 5 hours of italian music and dancing mixed with childrens songs and 60's rock classics plus ooing and aahing over the pretty little communion children is an obsolute soul draining experience , i think somewhere between the canneloni and the chicken dance my inner being actually left my body for a time and just left my skeleton behind to appreciate what i would most likely call a good time in 20 years in the future , but i guess it beats staying home and watching australian idol! god damm im a cynical bastard,

Jazzcats tip of the week is the new wolfmother track , i thinki ive bagged them before for being a huge zeps rip off but hey this new track is a killer! i forget what it's called but its always played on triple j, check it out if you can be fucked

big week of work this week , working all weekend including sunday so might not get out much , but hopefully get together enough cash to pay my train fine so i dont get tied to the tracks and run over by a connex train while an evil man with a curly moustache MUHAHAHA's at me

p.s the slot jockeys won a thriller semi final by one point in the dieing seconds on monday night , grand final here we come, so u can take that to the salvos and smoke quicky you mother fucker hahaha

Honey leave the light on for me

Jazzcat