An heartfelt and outrageous discription of life in middle surburbia full of life laughter and turmoil a must read for anyone,anywhere,ever..p.s i love bacon -Oprah Winfrey

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

beer is to damm cheap ...never thought i d say that..

ok so korea has been an absolute mental assauly so much so everything has to be in dot point and in 2 parts

.we rolled into south korea and noticed to start off with the large demonstration and ammount of soldiers in seoul station, shrugged it off and jordan called jacqui to meet us a couple of hours away in busan, as soon as we arrived it was basicly on for young and old, we met up with a few of jacqui's friends and headed out to korean bbq , were u coook meat and vegies at the table. we got to meet more of jacquis friends including some cool american girls , monika and angela and the one and only jim carey ( hilliarious korean guy who loves weezer) . they took us to a international bar called crossroads where we found out the have $9 jugs ..and the jugs are almost double the size of aussie jugs!!! it had begun , before i knew it i was doing tequilla shots with some girl for her birthday then got shouted jager by the bar tender , played some crazy flipping cup drinking game with some americans , and after that it was kind of a blur i think we ended up somewhere else , and the best thing is you can leave one bar with a glass of beer and just take it to the next bar with you!! they dont care !!, we even stopped in a got some beers from a corner store and took THOSE into a bar with us ...anyway jacquis neighbour was nice enough so show me how o get home ( i had no fuckin idea) and i woke up with a fuckin brutal hangover ...and thats just the first 8 hours in country.. more updates later

cum sum me da
jarrod

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Why is tommi lee jones advertising pepsi in japan???

The last time i posted i think we were in hiroshima,japan. We left there to go to kyoto which was probly my favourite place in japan! it was a really beautiful city with a crazy hostel that was covered in sports stars but upstairs had a lounge dedicated to rasta material whith all this weed smoking and bob marley shit everywhere. and a balcony filled with 80's tpys and action figures. But other than that the streets were filled with fantastic food shops as well as temples. the first full day we were there we spent at a region famed for it temples , it was a massive walk but extremely beautiful. The photos we took at the top of the shinto graveyard carved into a mountain were especially breathtaking. That night we met some pretty cool australian dudes and decided to hit the town . Our first choice of location was a bar themed like a clash record but it was closed so we hit a reggae bar called rub a dub . It was awesome it could fit about 30 ppl in there at the max and just ahd a really fun feel the bar tender was especially cool and was constantly cheerzing us and dancing while he worked. The next day we took a train out to the base of the mountains and decided to hike up and see some of the old temples in the mountain top , it was a long hike but when your at the top and everythings completely quiet i mean dead silient you can basicly only hear the sound of your own breath you understand why ppl would come up here to find god. We made our long trip down and decided to go to a onsen to heal some of our wounds from hiking . A onsen is basicly a natural hot spring with sulfur in it that is widely believed to be amazingly good for you. At the start it was a bit awkward nudeing up in front of tad and jordan and sqauting down in the shower area before hand , then we covered our jiblets and got into the water ...which was hot as fuck . After about 10 minutes tad decided he's had enough but me and jordan stayed in for a while longer and watched some japanese loacals come and go, they seemed to be a bit surprised to see westerners there at first but it was all cool after a while. When we finally got out it felt like i'd had about 2 days of sleep and someone had scrubbed me clean with steel wool and moisturised my skin while i was sleeping ...amazing. we went out and partied with a tall aussie dude that night and after a disaterous start at the dulest bar on earth ended up back at rub a dub where i some how ended up being dangled from my ankles for a photo op.crying so i stuck my head in to investigate and saw a guy taking a heavily bleeding woman up some stairs . i yelled out but he seemed to be telling me everything was under control, but we got the police anyway. They seemed to be under the conclusion that she was probly just wasted but went to check it out anyway they came back and took my details ( i gave them mels phone number :) and off we went to eat mcdonalds. The next day we left bec and tad and headed back to tokyo for the night , mel took jess to the airport and me and jordan explored the area surrounding the tokyo dome . It was a really great area and perfect for the night shot photo ops we were after , lots of neon light snow flakes and even a fountain orchestra that started up just as we entered the area shooting bursts of water into the air with multi coloured lkights. That night we went to check out some japanese punk bands which was a must for me while we there . We found a venue that was dark smokey and 3 storeys underground PERFECT. Saw a fuckin great band there called v/acation whose lead singer had no regard for his own personal safety , equipment or the safety of anyone else and proceded to destroy him self by just smashing into shit and diving on ppls heads , the night finsihed with the guitarist launching himself cannonbal style into the other guitarist on the other side of stage completely cleaning him up ..fucking gold man. . The next day we packed our shit up ducked out of the hostel dodgely (we snuck jordan into our room without paying) and boraded a plane to south korea at about 7 in the morning that i was so tired i slept through the entire thing. i... my original plan was to srat writing down some of our south korean experinces ( which have been fucking mental) but my brain is fryed from lack of sleep and my body is friend for a 3 hour hike to a korean mountain top ( exaplain in a later post ) so i think the best thing is for me to head home and watch that re run of the goonies

sayonora bitchs

Sunday, January 25, 2009

if indiana jones and rocky got together and solved crimes type adventure

and thus begins the start of my travel blog. i'm a couple of days off the mark so there may be some stories lackin but basic breakdown is im travellin for awhile and i started in japan bitchs the home of food in a can in a vending machine , electric toiliets and karaoke mother fuckers. first things first . the plane ride was a fuckin nightmare im 6 ,1 and it felt like the plane was built for midget amputees didnt sleep for shit and arrived in tokyo grumpy and thinin that ppl talk shit and it didnut look much diff from home...then i saw the city . we were staying at a smaller city centre in tokyo and it was easily bigger than the melbourne cbd great big lights everyhere and bustling ppl makes you feel small but it was exciting . chilled out for the night and had some damm excellent food and prepared to get up early the next day to meet bec and tad. Spent the next few days exploreing only the tiniest fraction of the bigger city centres of tokyo found japans biggest comic sci fi store which has some amazing stuff in it . but everything in japan is stupid expensive , i paid $10 for a fuckin coke today !! but ill get back to that. went a saw sumo a fewdays in which was super exciting ,alot of ceremony but thats kinda what makes it special, the next day started a disaster we spent to morning wonderin a fairly average market then me and mel broke off cos i wanted to find a japanese punk record store, except nobody spoke english in this area and trying to mime japanese punk record store is no easy task . so we left empty handed. after this we had a nice dinner and eaded off to our seedy love hotel for a couple of hours or dirt. for those unfamiliar a love hotel is a hotel for young japanese ppl to have a fwe hours of sleazy sex away from prying eyes . we had a cool jungle /bali themed room with some fuckin whacked out girl squirting milk porn on the t.v..and we'll leave that story there. that night we decided to dry karioke . we found a place that gveyou all u can drink till 5 am for around 50 bucks ..big mistake japan !!! we got there at 11 and sang and danced the night away till around 5 to every tune imagineagle and got completely fucked!!the night ended with me and jordan singin the song merri and pippin sing in lotr on the table with beer steins and jordan loosing his wallet and needing a former foreighn trade correspondant to help him find it. the next day jordan did that while me ,mel and jess saw the maggi shrine and harajouku park. This park is likenothinh i have evee seen crazy japanese kids dressed as manga chracters,goths ,little bo peep and some guy in a suit wearing a horse head doing some crazy dance in a ewok forrest...just down the road from chritian singers kung fu guys and jugglers...amazing .i love the idea of ppl coming together in the out doors and just having fun no matter age , sex or particular interest just a mish mash of happyness. spent that night listening to jordans wallet finder regale us with stories and headed to hiroshema in the morning(saw mT fuji from the train..beautiful) wich is where i am now an where i had a tasty dinner but yes payed 10 bucks for a coke but goot 1 free saki so i guess thats ok going to see the a bomb sitetmrw which should be surreal.anyway im lving the feelin of being away and feel like im learning something every second, ive basicly stoped drinking soft drink eat 3 meals a day and walk an averageof 5km ..i feel like im ageing like bejamin button. and i love it.

peace and love
jazzcat

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The buttons are too small for my fingers...

After some super sleuth work worthy of a holmes novel ( mainly done by mel bel and my boss ) we found the only wallace james chester located in melbourne lives in sale and is the head of the good time dance commitee or something of the like. Sounds like a hip happenin type of guy , maybe someone of the new age type of thinkin ...and i have his phone number and address sitting in my bag.. ready to go ....

so why cant i call it

I've been bagered at work for the last week about this topic as they are all convinced that life will be alot easier if i just got all this over and done with, which is alot easier said than done
its all good for people on the outside lookin in you know..to them its just like watchin someone act out an episode of bold and beautiful. i think there waiting for ron moss to run into our workplace and shake me screaming im' not your father... im your brother ( bom -bom) ...from another mother ( bom -bom)....another mother ....from another planet ( extreme close up at my terrifeid bewildered eyes and cut to commercial) . This is all sunday night viewing for them and all though i dont doubt they want to help it's really not as simple as ringin this guy up and saying " yo homie i think you be my poppy , lets hang "

For this guy this is a pretty major deal as well , by the sounds of things he has a new young family of his own , do u think he needs mysterious phone calls from skeletons in the closet? i doubt it , theres a fairly good chance he's gonna tell me to fuck off , or just deny it all together

i dunno , but i guess theres only one way to find out .. i just gotta press a sequence of buttons ,
bah that avrail lavigne was onto somethin , why DOES shit have to be so fuckin complicated ,

ahh well

In other news melbourne cup day is at the new location of melanie and jaroods place in the berg , there will be much drinkin ,watermelon eating and bbq sheaningans but i doubt very much race watching ....fuckin horses so come one come all

hope to see you there

She's my cherry pie

Jazzcat

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The verdict is in

Well i had my meeting with the adoption place the other day , had to run like a bitch to get there on time and finally got shuffled into a small corporote office with twolder woman who had the same quest as myself

The social worker in charge briefed us on the information we were about to receive and invited us discuss our feelings , unfortuneatly for me this turned out to be a request to open up fem fest 2006 and seeings though i had no bra to burn i was fairly left out of the proceding conversations , the 3 woman talked about how there adoption affected them as woamn and only resolved to empower them selves more with knowledge and stregth once they had found out a bit of there history,there was many a tear shed and anecdote shared while i sipped at a cup of tea and made up imaginary cold war battle scenes involving the teddy bear biscuits on the table , i fuckin knew this shit was gonna happen but i really didnt have much choice but to sit in a group interview as the alternative was to wait untill december and i 'm one impatient mother fucker

Finally i clicked back into reality when the lady asked me "Jarrod do you have anything you'd like to talk about" and the three woman gave me a look that oozed "it's ok baby let out your bottled up man -type emotions and we will cradle you to our bosoms and chase away your issues of abandonment" . I just wanted to scream " I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE LISTENING TO YOU CRAZY LADYS TALK ABOUT NEO FEM TOPICS FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF , I WANNA DRINK BEER AND WATCH ACTION MOVIES !! " i felt like i needed to shave for the second time in 2 hours , if there hadda been a volleyball in the room i wouldve named it wilson and befriended it cos i've very rarely felt so nervous or so far away from home... but instead of that i just said " no... i'm just keen to look at my paperwork .." to this she said..."ok ill go get it"
damm that was easy i shoulda piped up earlyer

The lady whose name i cant remember returned to the room carrying 3 files , one for each of us and handed me the thickest one , i just kind of looked at it for a couple of minutes to appreciate the fact that inside this folder wqas the most important piece of paper i've come into contact with in my short life , i was almost afraid to open it for a minute but then i turned around and saw i was laggin behind the pack..couldnt let these margaret thatchers beat me again so i tore itnd pulled out the first page which was my original birth certificate

My Name is Christoper James Mc donald, my parents names were Wendy Gaye Mc donald and Wallace James Chester and they lived in glen waverly and malvern respectively

My mother has almost identical handwriting to my own , and they both gave rather logical and detailed reason for releasing me into the care of another family , and i couldnt thank them more for doing this as i think my life wouldve been alot different if i had've stayed in a young broken home

But the most interesting things were the interviews recorded with my parents ( adoptive ) and all the bullshit they had to go to to get a child while morons around the world are popping them out like skittles .

So i read my stuff , packed up my shit and got the fuck outta there as fast as i could , ate some hungry jacks and met up with some of the lads for a drink at the empress . it ewasnt quite the earth moving experience i was expecting but atleast i've got some names

catch you jokers real soon

The door is always open

Christoper James Jazzcat

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

That raspy voice damm near breaks my heart..

I havent been doin much lately , but went out for dinner last week which was good to catch up with ppl such as Mikey M although the service was the equivelent of being served by a turtle on valium and our water looked like he plastered pictures of the cast of de grassi around his room and kept a locket of joey jerimiahs hair around his neck but other than that.. all good,

Then i actually sucked it up and got to beccs place on friday night , had a chat to Firthy which was good and was preparing to go when i heard a ruckus from the bedroom , thinkin it was just becc and tad gettin freaky i shrugged and exclained these damm kids and preapred to make my way home for some much needed shut eye , then curiosity got the better of me and i hit up beccsta about what she was so flustered about and she informed me that her boyfriend tad had just proposed and she had gratefully excepted .

This came as a bit of a shock actually and in these situations one's friends are sposed to throw a college girl hissy fit of Ooooohhh myyyyy gooooodddssss , but all i could muster was ...dammm

but i pulled myself together and wished them both the very best , and headed off with firth into the night.

so if by any chance your reading this rebecca may your engagement be a experience of bathurst 2005 propotions hehe , no one else will understand that but it was good times indeed

So hopefully ill see everyone soon , i assume i only missed you by seconds on friday but i hadda to bail out, starting to forget what you all look like , is that you....trao ...i mean thao yes of course and your little friend kate .... thats brian? ....oh sorry brian .... hehehe

Listen to Bob Dylan he is a true poet and soother of the soul , if Bob dylan was around when hitler ruled germany then the world would be a much different place

I wanna kiss you all over..

Jazzcat

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

It's like offering Jessica Alba and then being given Clamber ...



Went to see my mum the other night after she informed me she apprently had a letter that my birth mother had written me when i was born , i was rather taken aback by the fact that gee i dunno she might have wanted to bring this up maybe WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO FUCKING READ !!

So i went into the house expecting the world and got handed the equivelent to an empty packet of chips ...
it wasnt a letter from my mother at all it was a letter from an adoption agency worker who had looked after my mother !! what the fuck is with that shit thats like telling you to come over to see my new dog and then introducing you to someone who has once seen my new dog but you cant see it.

I was givin a little bit of info though from various other pieces of paper , both my parents were apprently short asses and given im almost 6,1 gives hope to the fact im a mutant and my superpowers will amerge at any day now.. my father sounded like a bogan but my mother was sposed to be shy and quiet with a love for music, so that explains how i became a bogan who loves music i guess.

i know mum meant well but when i left there house i was just a little bit crest fallen , When your told your about to be handed the key to your past it's basicly all you can think about untill it's placed in your sweaty little palms , so when your handed a dog bone it's a bit of a blow to the cods

Ahhh well my applications were mailed off to human services today so the search continues..

Other than that my life has been pretty uneventfull, Just trying to keep it real and keep my eyes open while i drive home from work at night wheich is becoming increasingly harder as i work longer harder days , i think im gonna start glueing them to my forehead ,

Hope to catch all you Jerk offs real soon , gonna try and make it to Lady beccstas place on saturday but with fathers day the next day and a really busy day at work i could be pretty knackered but hopefully i will prevail and make an appeareance for a little while


There's a fire in the kitchen bitchs

Jazzcat