CONNEX: Making my life one giant pub story for five years!!

A guy died in the carriage of my train tonight.. had a heart attack or something and by the sounds of the guy trying to help him it wasnt lookin good even before the ambo's got there...Poor Bastard..

But this kind of stuff happens to me on public transport all the time.I've been catching the trains and buses to and from work for the last 4 years and i've seen more shit on the melbourne public transport system in four short years than most people see in there entire lives!!

I've seen people shagging , had a lady ask me for the apprently invisible bowl of cream i was holding because she was low in sugar than proceded to yell at a match to light, i've seen ppl get bashed and stabbed ,i've broken up a fight between a couple of taxi drivers whowere bashing a guy then the stupid bastard started throwing hay makers at me!! then i got jumper punched by the driver as well, i've witnessed and inpromtu freestlye rap battle over a stolen flinders street loud speaker and had to read my book out loud for the entire way home to an aboriginal lady who couldnt read and i've watched a magic show on the last train with an old business man and a guy who just got out of jail 3 days previous and had prison tats and bandaged knuckles and in recent times i've had the police barge into my carriage two days after the london bombings to inspect a suspicious bag...and thats just some of the crap that pops into my head!!..

It all turns into a great story for the lads at the pub later on at night but i swear to god i must have some sought of fate turning device inbeded in my skull , because im sure this god damm public transport system is going to be the death of me, look out for headline reading " Melbourne youth savaged by radioactive ferrets hiding in connex train roof , child actor gary coleman tries to come to aid of youth but even though gary is 5th dan jiu jitsu master is overcome by ferrets and perishes , the youth and gary will be burried in the same casket at a small service on saturday" It's the only logical conclusion

i also saw rock school last night which is basicly about a school for little kids to learn how to rock out, its full of rapping mormons and a 10 year old who belts out a five minute zappa solo that would make hendrix cry, check it out if the power of rock compels you !!

Connex appologises for making your life hell in anyway!!

Jazzcat