Canadian Bacon


Last week i caught up with a good buddy of my from past workin days burnie aka craig , burnie has been in canada for the last year and a half so it was good to catch up with him and reminise about all the bollocks , which normally consisted of

. me and burnie preparing to go out with some work mates to some bar / club

. burnie the pretty boy telling me i dressed like a bogan and attempting to dress me in pink collared shirt s and telling me my jeans didnt match my shoes

. me telling burnie that this isnt queer eye for the baysie guy and if he comes near me again im gonna be forced to lay the smack down suburbs style

.burnie gets ready for 45 minutes

. Jarrod yells abuse at burnie to stop being such a fuckin girls dick and go

. Fast foward to burnie pashin hot chicks while jarrod does wasted dancing to tubthumping...

good times baby , good times

So now i've come to the conclusion that canada must be some sought of mecca for 20 year old aussie males , cos every man and his moose seems to be makin the pilgrimage to the land of bryan adams ,

But whats the big fuckin draw card ? , whats so special about canada ?from all accounts i hear its just like australia except heaps colder , theres no major landmarks the night life is basicly like here.
what about rome ,paris ,rio , exotic parts of the world where the food , culture and exotic woman flow like wine , where the party doesnt get kickin till 2 am and chapagne falls from the ceiling drenching the bronzed godesses wearing basicly only glorified loin cloths and moving in unison to sigur ros like they're all having one big subconsious orgasm and the only eyes they have is for that rough and tumble boy from down under !!

or..

a dark bar playing keith urban on repeat , serving warm beer in 40 ounce bottles ,in -10 degree heat and the closest you can get to the nice little philly in the corner is 2 metres cos you both have so many layers of cloths on that you look like members of d 12 ,then when you finally do get her home u realise that she isnt wearing layers at all ... she's just a huge bitch and she bears a striking resemblance to the goalie from the mighty ducks! but then you have to throw her a go anyway cos you starving for love and affection in this desstitue cavernous hellhole , so she makes you dress like a mountie and you cry your self to sleep while she lays next to you eating a cream cheese baguette and gets crumbs in the bed which later on gives you a terrible rash..

it's no brainer if you ask me , the only other conclusion i can come up with is that yoda has moved on from the degabar system to a place of equal beauty and is currently training the next breed of jedi knights in vancouver ... in that case rock n roll!!

in other news i have next sunday off work so i want to have a huge night out on sat , and i expect you all to be there, i dont know where it will be yet but it will be epic !!


you cant stop the music bitchs

Jazzcat